Talk About A Bad Dude: Osama Bin Laden May Have Been Breaking Down NFL Film Without Using The Proper All-22 Camera Angles
This has been a all-time week for folk’s who like to pour through documents. Between the JFK files being unsealed harder than Heidi Klum and the CIA dropping a treasure trove of Bin Laden’s computer files, I’ve basicaly going to be spending the next 4 days locked in a room with one of those green visors that accountants wear and a cocktail of mountain dew and the caffeine pills that Jesse Spanos was on when she went through her Richard Sherman phase on Saved By The Bell. I’ve only started to pour through the Bin Laden files but here are some of the more intresting pieces of note that were found on his computer:
Charlie Bit My Finger- First of all this is very disheartening to learn that Bin Laden was downloading ilegal streams of viral videos I expected more from him. Not to pile on but I certainly hope he FBI can posthumously charge him with piracy as well to deter any future crimnals. More importanlty however, this support’s my “Jackass” theory of geopolitical connection. Its similar to the McDonalds theory of economics that no two countrys with McDonalds in them have ever fought a war verse each other, either due to shared values of capitalism over violence, or because their citizens are simply too lethargic to point a gun at each other. My “Jackass theory” postulates that you can put any two people from any walk of life in the same room as one another and there both going to be able to reach a consensus that Chris Pontius flying a propeller drone into his own dick is true comedy. I’m honestley suprised Trump hasn’t realized this and made Johnny Knoxville a ambassador to the UN yet. Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville, and this is bombing a yemeni wedding by farting onto the caterers sterno flame.
Assss.jpg- Looks like OBL was a butt man. Just have to make sure you j/o to it with your left hand or else its’ unclean
Ass1.jpg Ass man confirmed
Ass2.jpg Ok we get it Osama you dont have to be a weirdo about it
Hundreds of Tom and Jerry Videos including Tom and Jerry changing each others diapers Listen if we start making it against the law to watch cartoon porn then the terrorists will of won.
But the biggest suprise:
Bin Laden may of been breaking down film without using the proper All-22 camera angles. If true this could be the most ignorant thing he’s ever done. Trying to figure out how the safetys are reacting to play action while using the orignal TV broadcast is like trying to figure out what hit the pentagon using a gas station camera 10 block’s away with three frames redacted before being released to the public. You dont know if the reason the WR got open on the seam was on account of a blown cover two coverege, or if every nickleback in the NFL mysterously called in sick that day at the directive of George Soros.
Bin Laden was probly driving around in a ignorant ass truck with a “All I Need To Know About The Vertical Passing Game I Learned From Watching Texas Tech” bumper sticker. Dont make assumptons about things you dont understand just based on the most extreme versions of the most radicalized teachers. If Bin Laden really wanted to educate his followers he would of traded in the bomb signaling device for a coaches clicker sorry not sorry. What a fraud.