BREAKING: Diddy Did NOT Change His Name, It Was A Joke

Phew! That was a close one. I’ve stayed quiet regarding the name change mostly because it’s been too hard to talk about. I’m a diehard Bad Boy fan. Like most, Puff Daddy and the Family were the soundtrack to my white middle-class upbringing. So naturally, I was excited over the summer when he started going by Puffy again. I played up all the songs I used to relate to so well in my Mom’s purple mini-van: All About The Benjamin’s, Been Around The World, Young G’s. It was great. That is, until this morning when I logged into the dashboard and saw three people working on the same Diddy name change story. It felt like an old friend had come into my life just to walk out a few weeks later. Well, joke’s on me. Turns out Puffy never changed his name, he just didn’t know how internet jokes work.

People will say it’s a publicity stunt but I genuinely don’t think it is. Diddy’s been far too rich for far too long to waste his time figuring out how the internet works. Guy probably hasn’t read a word in twenty years. Just has indentured music servants recite the news to him on a daily basis. Besides, does this look like an internet guy?

Didn’t think so. Welcome back, Puffy. Glad to see you never left.