No, Kendall Jenner, I Will Not Date You

It came to my attention today that Kendall Jenner and her pals did this Star Wars photoshoot for Harper’s Bazaar, which is apparently a fashion magazine (shoutout Chicks In The Office for letting me know this), and I just have to address the elephant in the room. I feel like there’s been rumors about this flying left and right for months, and I’m going to just single in and talk to one person in this blog, so here goes nothing.

Kendall, I get it. I see what you’re trying to do. First, it was the KISS shirt:

Then, it was the nWo Wolfpac shirt:

And now, it’s a whole Star Wars photoshoot.

Have I been playing hard to get? Yeah, honestly, I have. Haven’t even really acknowledged your existence. Have I been playing hard to get in hopes to one day date you up, however? No, unfortunately not.

I’m really sorry if this is awkward, Kendall, and I promise it’s not you, it’s me, but I’m just not interested. Can’t see us as anything more than friends, and hey, if you wanna be friends, let’s grab a Dunkin Cold Brew sometime. I just have so many things going on right now, you know how it is, I’m not looking for a relationship! Seems like you’ve got a ton going on as well, I don’t know how you’re gonna balance being the aunt of like 6 different kids in a few months, but I’m an uncle and could definitely give you some advice if you need it! Hope this doesn’t make things weird between us, because you seem like a nice girl, but yeah. Thanks but no thanks.