Hot Take Alert: Astronomer Says Tax Reform Passed Because Everybody's Judgment Is Askew Due To The Alignment Of Mercury, Saturn, And The Sun

NY Post — Adding salt to the planetary wound is Mercury — still in retrograde, and ruining everything, probably. (Surely it’s to blame for the hellish holiday traffic gridlock?)

Astrologer Susan Miller is concerned about the Saturn-Mercury combo. “The American tax revision was done going into the saddest day of the year, Dec 21, [with] Saturn conjunct the Sun, and Mercury retrograde,” she tweets. “Very weird timing, so many unintended consequences to occur.”

Is today your birthday? Just phone it in for the rest of the year. “It may at times feel as if you are being held back by invisible forces over the coming year, but that’s just the universe’s way of telling you not to try so hard,” The Post’s own Sally Brompton writes.

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Ahhhh no wonder we passed tax reform, Mercury and Saturn and the Sun are lined up all weird and shit. Makes total sense. You might think Republicans are trying to save people money and stimulate corporate investment and grow wages with corporate tax cuts but actually everybody’s judgment is off its fucking rocker cuz astronomy. I wonder if this holds up in court? Or with the gf? “Hey sorry I disagreed with everything you said and refused to apologize for doing literally nothing wrong, the planets are fucked. Not my fault. Everything should fine in another week or two. Look at Mercury how am I supposed to be rational with Mercury positioned like that?”

Sounds legit. Never occurred to me to push the astronomical defense but I dig it. Gonna give this a shot next time I find a female to care enough to fight with me.