John Cena Is In Talks To Play Duke Nukem In A Live-Action Movie

Variety- John Cena is in talks to star in Paramount’s “Duke Nukem” movie, a big-screen version of the long-running video game franchise. The project is set up at Paramount-based Platinum Dunes, which is operated by Michael Bay, Andrew Form, and Brad Fuller. No director or writer is attached yet.

Duke Nukem first appeared in the 1991 eponymous video game, developed by Apogee Software, as a muscular cigar-chomping man who always wears Ray-Bans and sports a flat-top haircut as he fights aliens to save planet Earth by using enormous physical strength and his expertise in firearms. He’s appeared in 19 video games as the title character, most recently in “Duke Nukem 3D: World Tour.”

Every. Single. Thing. About. This. Is. Perfect. John Cena playing Duke Nukem, in a movie directly linked to Michael Bay. Wow. Might as well call off next year’s Oscars because this is gonna sweep. Duke Nukem is such an OG hardo, the king of the high and tight, and Cena is a guy who wears pictures of himself lifting weights on his own t-shirts.

Michael Bay is a largely bad filmmaker, which is also absolutely necessary for a Duke Nukem movie, because the dialogue needs to be as unbearable as it could be. If this movie is even slightly passable in the technical sense, it’s a failure. It needs to have the ‘Fast and Furious’ type divide between critics and audiences, at least an 80% gap on Rotten Tomatoes. In my mind, it’s two and a half hours long and based on the Neo vs 1000 Agent Smiths fight in ‘The Matrix: Reloaded’. Like the entire movie is based on that one fight scene. Just have John Cena as Duke Nukem standing on a mountain of dead aliens, with other aliens attacking him from all sides. He can be smoking a cigar the whole time, delivering horrible soundbites, and throwing endless grenades/bombs to hit Bay’s explosion quota. I’d be VERY in for that.