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Monkey On The Loose Near King Of Diamonds Strip Club In Miami

NORTH MIAMI – A monkey has been spotted near the famous King of Diamonds strip club in North Miami Beach, authorities said Tuesday.North Miami Beach police said the monkey was last seen west of Northeast Sixth Avenue, between 179th and 180th streets. Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officials are assisting in locating the monkey. Anyone with information about the monkey’s whereabouts is asked to contact the North Miami Beach Police Department.

Pretty inconsiderate of WVSN 7 News to blow up this monkey’s spot like this. Can a 4 limbed mammal hit KOD on a Monday without a chopper showing up and following him out? It’s Spring Break for Christ’s sake, let him live for once in his life. Its 2018 and we’re still discriminating like this? If his money is green then I don’t see why he can’t make it rain to Rozay like any other patron.

Believe it or not there is actually a sizable population of feral monkeys in South Florida. After writing that sentence I realize that most people would probably file that in the “Believe It” category without much thought. There aren’t many animals that you could tell someone, “these live in Florida” to much surprise, as its a complete free-for-all. The equation of wealthy people with sometimes shady backgrounds (I’m talking about drug dealers folks) who buy exotic pets without much of a long-term gameplan, and the lack of harsh winters has created a breeding ground for animals from faraway continents to flourish right here in the United States of America. Burmese Pythons, Parrots, Lionfish, Snakeheads, Iguanas, Rhesus Monkeys, and many other species are now becoming regular sights in Mr. 305’s backyard. This video was taken at a Park N Go in Fort Lauderdale.

This picture was taken by a trail cam in late Summer 2017 in Ocala, Florida.

They can spread the Herpes B virus, which is a downside, but nothing most other primates in Florida aren’t already capable of doing. This has caused the FWC to consider enacting a call to round them up, citing the potential for transmissions of the deadly virus. While I don’t want to catch Herpes B from these monkeys, I am fully opposed to attempting to deport them. First of all, good luck eradicating them. I’ve seen Planet Of The Apes, (as well as the PHENOMENAL sequels produced by the Chernin Group) and I will not be one of the stupid humans who puts up about 26 seconds of resistance before getting smoked by Caesar and his boys. Second of all, why are we attempting to turn Florida into some sort of sanitized habitat. Its way too late for that, as it’s already a modern day Jurassic Park, and the smartest move is to embrace the situation. Maybe we can release some Jaguars and Tigers into the forests of the Gunshine State and ramp up the situation a little bit. Who are we kidding? Tigers wouldn’t even be within 10 spots of “Face Eating Zombies” in the list of most dangerous things to roam the area.