With A Little Help From His Friends, Ringo Starr Has Been Granted Knighthood

You see what I did there with that headline was I said “With A Little Help From His Friends” because “With A Little Help From My Friends” is a song by The Beatles that Ringo sang, and without John, Paul, and George, Ringo ain’t getting knighted for shit! Just kidding, of course (I’m not), I’ve always hated the Ringo slander of the music industry. Sure, he was never firing triplets on all cylinders and throwing ghost notes into a 5/6 rhythm, but that’s never what The Beatles required. They needed homeboy to kick, snare, kick kick snare. That’s all. And it was fine. Listen to people way more educated than I discuss his unique talent:

So congrats to Ringo Starr. Much deserved, long time coming. He was asked what he’d do with his new medal after the ceremony, and he said he’d wear it to breakfast. Classic.

Before I leave this blog though, how weird is knighthood? Knighthood? Do we give it the capital K to make it a proper noun, does it even deserve that? I’m just saying, you watch the ceremony and Prince William does what everyone knighting another person does: touches a sword to both sides of a kneeing person’s head, then gives them a medal. How’d that start? Did the first person to go through that process think they were on the verge of being decapitated before British Ashton Kutcher ran out and let them know they were being Punk’d? Seems like an oddly threatening way of honoring somebody. Here in the States we just write their name on the one of the sidewalks of Hollywood Blvd for homeless people to piss on, so take notes over there across the pond, eh?