I Envy The Confidence Of This Two-Foot Rock That's Classified As A Mountain

Daily Mail- In the UK it has to measure more than 2,000 feet while in the US the peak usually has to be over 1,000 feet. But in China, 60cm (1.9ft) is apparently enough for a rock to be classified as a mountain. Welcome to Jing Mountain in Shandong Province. It’s China’s smallest mountain and can be conquered with just one step. The rock is four feet long and just over two feet wide – but it’s thought to go down 157 feet.  Needless to say, it’s become a popular tourist attraction. Zhen Binhai, the former curator of Shouguang Museum, told Pear Video how the rock came to be a mountain. He said: ‘During the Republic of China era, some people challenged the claim that it was a mountain and insisted it was just a rock. The authority arranged for people to dig around it. They dug a long time but couldn’t reach the bottom. Therefore it was classified as a mountain.

That headline might read like a joke but it’s the furthest thing from a joke. I envy the fuck outta that little rock. Big dick swinging from that little guy. Mountains, as we know them, are giant. They’re huge. Uncle Rico said he could throw a football over them but we all know he couldn’t. They’re too damn big. They’re so big that weather changes on either side of them. The Himalayas are the tallest mountain range in the world. They’re 26,247 feet tall. That’s what we think of when we think of mountains. Or at least we did. Then in waltz’s this two-foot rock and changes the game. Imagine having that much confidence. Just imagine. We should all strive to be a two-foot rock that classifies itself as a mountain. That’s what I’m trying to get across. Go out there and be a two-foot rock today.

Here’s my top-5 ranking of powerful short people

5. Gandhi

4. Napolen Bonaparte

3. Chinese rock

2. Tyrion Lannister

1. Bruno Mars