Why Wasn't I Invited To The "Raves R Us" Party In London?
Fox News – An abandoned Toys ‘R’ Us store was transformed into the site of a massive rave — but was shut down by London police before the party had a chance to take off.
The Hounslow Police of West London tweeted they shut down the enormous party on March 31 and arrested five people. The department poked fun at the Toys ‘R’ Us logo and captioned a picture of the store as “Raves R Us.”
The once-popular toy retailer announced last month it would shutter or sell most of its stores in the U.S and United Kingdom. The retailer declared bankruptcy in September.
I’m sorry but this one isn’t going to be easy for me to “get over” at all. Toys R Us was such a spectacular place for me as a child. I know thats not exactly a hot take, but I really felt a special connection to that place. I used to get chills when I saw one from the window of a car ride thinking of what it would be like to be inside again soon. One time my cousin bought fake poop there and it was very influential in the development of my extraordinary sense of humor and timing. Fun stuff.
Obviously everyone with eyes and a brain knows that Toys R Us recently announced they would be shutting their doors for good and going out of business. I have had a lot of time to deal with that news and I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
That being said, I’m really fucking pissed I wasn’t made aware of this spontaneous event. I’m even more upset that I didn’t come up with the idea on my own. I feel like a god damn chump. When Toys R Us made that announcement, it was basically an open invitation for anyone with some balls and a thirst for EDM music, bright colors, and sweat to throw a party in any one of their abandoned locations.
In my recurring dream vision of how this went down, all the toys of our childhood are lining the fully stocked isles. Everything is bright and new and shiny; all the video games are on display and the newest systems are available to play on one of those controllers chained to the display.
Everyone is getting fucking LIT! Barney and his friends and the Teletubbies are out there pouring chocolate syrup on girls chests and pouring shots down their throats. DJ Khaled is there with his baby and they’re both wearing headphones like they’re MCing the entire event. They put on this one song and the bass is so loud that all the toys start shaking in the racks lining the aisles, all to the beat. It’s the coolest thing you’ve ever seen. Are you there with me? This sounds like it was the best thing ever. Fuck the police for shutting this down.
If Toys R Us was run by smart people, they’d embrace this story (and specifically this blog) and just start throwing fundraising raves at all their empty locations. Charge like $25 a head and just throw the greatest 90’s toy-themed raves of all time. I’d go to every single one. Just an idea.