Wu Tang Clan: Fired FBI Director Ain't Nothing To Fuck With

Today on ‘What The Fuck Is Going On Anymore?’

Ghostface Killah, Method Man & former FBI Director James Comey walk into a dressing room… The result doesn’t quite have a punchline yet but I’m working on it. They met on the set of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert last night where Comey was the featured guest & the Wu Tang gents were on a quest to get their single copy album, Once Upon A Time In Shaolin, back.

So what could they possibly have in common? A nemesis: Current U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions, and it’s not just because he looks like the stolen valor version of the best cookie baker in the tree-trunk kitchen.

Who among us doesn’t love a thorough, solid probing? Maybe a little wine, some heavy duty lube, a sweaty, writhing room full of where was I going with this…
Ah, apparently Sessions doesn’t like a solid probin’, as he recused himself from the F.B.I.’s probe into Russian meddling with the Trump Campaign. And then, according to the New York Times, he allegedly led his own campaign to help Trump by smearing Comey like the fudge on the inside of two Keebler brand vanilla biscuits.

Two days after Mr. Comey’s testimony, an aide to Mr. Sessions approached a Capitol Hill staff member asking whether the staffer had any derogatory information about the F.B.I. director. The attorney general wanted one negative article a day in the news media about Mr. Comey, according to a person with knowledge of the meeting.

As for Wu Tang Clan, when Pharma Douche-Canoe Martin Shkreli got jail time for fraud, he had to forfeit his riches, including Once Upon A Time In Shaolin. Shkreli had anonymously purchased the only copy of the album from Wu-Tang for $2 million American Dollars. When Wu-Tang found out the guy known for pricing gouging life-saving meds with 5000% increases had bought it, they wanted it back. And now that he’s had to turn it over with his assets, it’s in the hands of, yep, Attorney General Jeff Sessions.

Could Comey, Ghostface Killah & Method Man unite to bring back a happier time in Shaolin? Only time will tell, and in the meantime, Jeff Sessions – it sounds like you better Protect Ya Neck.