Breaking Down The Inaugural Barstool Awards

Kmarko4/19/2018 6:00 PM

Tonight’s the night – it’s the inaugural Barstool Awards presented by Dunkin Go2s, starting LIVE at 7:30 PM from Queens, New York.

Dave has kept the list under lock and key, but I finally got my hands on a leaked copy of the categories. Don’t want to know the winners so I don’t have my whole night spoiled, but here are my predictions…

The Inaugural Barstool Awards presented by Dunkin’ Go2s

Red Carpet LIVE at 7:30 PM

Awards at 8:00 PM

Best Sports Performance

Hank at Rough n’ Rowdy 1
Francis at the Barstool Combine
Fore Play boys in Times Square at midnight during a blizzard
Smitty Dodgeball hitting girl

Kmarko’s pick:

Worst Sports Performance

Coley’s vertical jump at the Barstool Combine
Tex’s boxing career (two Rough n’ Rowdy losses in 2017)
Dave’s goalie challenge against Kevin Hayes
Loud Sean Vs. Spags Hoops

Kmarko’s pick:

Best Educational Film

Nate’s Whiteboard with Adam Best
Bill’s Mafia Doc
Billy Football Whiteboard
Nate how to pick up Women in Vegas
Chef

Kmarko’s Pick:

A Nate At Night Original: How To Get A Date In Vegas Nate Dog Style

Best Foreign Film
Manny Hitting Coach Video
Canadian Tourism Board
Chinese Taco Bell
Donnie Pretends to Be Doctor

Kmarko’s Pick:

Best Silent Film

Barstool Tailgate Show from Iowa

Best New Band / Best Single

Pup Punk (Back To Skool)
Francis (cancer scare song from Barstool Idol)
Donnie’s Yaba song
Color Rush Thursday song
Diss Week

Kmarko’s Pick:

Sexiest Scene

Riggs jumping into a lake in a Speedo after losing a round of golf to Paige Spiranac
Nate’s Vegas video while in a robe
Smitty Shower Scene
Flying 69
Riggs/Glenny Chippendales

Kmarko’s Pick:

Best Supporting Actor

Smitty with Nate in Vegas
Ian Rapaport Pat Announcement
Nate in the Bryce Harper Pizza Review

Kmarko’s Pick:

New Artist of the Year

Francis
McAfee
Donnie

Kmarko’s Pick:

Best TV Sitcom

The Rundown from Houston on Comedy Central
Barstool Van Talk
5th Year

Kmarko’s Pick:

(Episode 1)

Best TV Appearance

Tex on Maury before Rough n’ Rowdy 1
Glenny Balls on Watch What Happens Live
Pres on Seth Myers

Kmarko’s Pick:

Go-Getters of the Year presented by Dunkin Go2s

Caleb and Rone during 5th Year – Security Video
PMT Calling Into NFL Rules Committee
Heartland Hurricane at Indy 500
Clem and Hank Do Latvia

Kmarko’s Pick:

I guess we’re playing fast and loose with the “this year” rules thing, but this is such a sneaky underrated classic.

We sent Clem and Hank to Latvia hahaha.

Biggest Hit of the Year

Tex’s punch on Hank in Rough n’ Rowdy 1
Smitty falling off of a hoverboard
Nate pushing YP out of the way in Stool Scenes
Intern punching Tex during Barstool Idol
Tex getting knocked out in the first Rough n’ Rowdy
Paige Spiranac hitting Trent in the ass with a driver

Kmarko’s Pick:

Best Celebrity Guest Appearance

George Brett
Vince Wilfork
Julian Edelman (Pizza Review)
Scott Van Pelt (Barstool Van Talk)

Kmarko’s Pick:

Worst Idea of the Year

Glenny Ball
Working with ESPN
Hiring Rapaport
Letting Spags and Loud Sean play basketball

Kmarko’s Pick:

The Smitty Show That Almost Got Greenlit Award

Swipe Drunk Love
Gametime
Drive Time
Anything He Does

Kmarko’s Pick:

No pick this is mean.

Biggest Villains