Big Dick Nick Swings Into New Contract With Eagles

That Big Dick Nick is swangin’ this morning. Rumor has it his restructured contract provides an extra $1 million per testicle plus bonuses for performance goals. He’ll need to borrow a Wentz Wagon to take all that cash to the bank. Foles contract would have been up after this season if a deal hadn’t been struck. According to ESPN he now has a mutual option for 2019.

I may be a gal but as an Eagles & Foles fan, I have a serious lady-boner for this news. Go Biiiirrrddsss. Go Biiiirddddsssss