My Mother’s Day Gift to Herself Was To Have Me Bring My Laundry To A Laundry Mat

launderyyy

momtexts

If anybody wants to know what my mother is like this blog probably sums it up. Her honest to god request for Mother’s Day was for me to take me laundry to a laundry mat and have them do it for me. That’s what she wanted for HER present. Like we almost got in a fight on the phone when she first asked me to do it because I had to say yes 100 times before she’d stop talking about it. Well now she is just texting me every day with a reminder on how many days till Mother’s Day and that I still haven’t done what I agreed to do for her gift. That’s right we are talking about MY LAUNDRY. I am a 41 year old multi millionaire getting daily text/threats from my mother that I haven’t delivered on her Mother’s Day present to herself to do my own fucking laundry. It’s banaland yet the most predictable thing ever.  And yes she does it out of love because she wants to make my life easier but at what point does a 41 year old man’s laundry become his own responsibility?  If you have a Jewish mother the answer is never.

PS – For those who wonder how I survive never doing laundry it’s pretty simple.  I do wash my underwear and towels.  Everything else I just keep buying new shit.