I Just Read A 46 Page WILD Lawsuit Against A Police Department Filed By The Cops Who Work There, With The Highlight Being A Decade-Long Campaign Of Harassment With "Big Blue" The Giant Dildo
MOUNTAINSIDE, NJ – In a 46-page complaint packed with allegations of harassment involving sex toys, official misconduct, nepotism, hazing, double-dipping and other egregious behavior, five Mountainside police officers and a female employee are suing the borough in state Superior Court.
The complaint, filed by officers Jeffrey Stinner, Christopher Feighner, Richard Latargia, Thomas Norton, James Urban and employee Amy Colineri, portrays a small police department run by a chief who ignores the bad behavior of his superior officers and a governing body that also does nothing to control it. The behavior cited in the complaint includes childish, crude pranks with dildos, the rubbing of genitals on officers’ food when they’re not watching, the repeated pointing of a handgun at fellow officers, racist and sexist comments, favoritism in hiring and promotions, the holding of knives to officers’ throats and more.
Boys will be boys am I right. Childish antics, crude pranks with dildos, rubbin’ balls on food, pointing loaded guns at officers while holding knives to their throats wait what? God damn Mountainside PD goes hard. The headline for the story talked about “frat-boy pranks” but I’ll tell you what, I’d take getting hazed in college over having a job at this fucking Animal House Police Force any day.
The whole report is below but I took the liberty of highlighting the best sections.
None of them more captivating than the tale of “Big Blue” the dildo that has terrorized the Mountainside Police Department for over a decade.
From 2007 to 2018, Big Blue the dildo has been appearing, disappearing and reappearing at random intervals in the office. You think it’s finally gone, you let your guard down – nope, there’s Big Blue jiggling around and throbbing on your desktop. It’s been thrown in the trash can. It’s been disposed of by the Lieutenant furious at his officers for playing pranks with it. It’s been banned by a sexual harassment lawyer saying it had no business being in the workplace. But year after year….it remains. Big Blue the police department dildo like a phoenix rising from the ashes.
My personal favorite was the fire chief coming to seemingly tell them to cut out the Big Blue business and their response was to grab Big Blue and just chase the fire chief around the office with it.
That poor dispatcher though. Is the dispatcher like the guy who gets bullied in the office? Because him being attacked and tickled with the dildo so much that he was so distraught he had to leave work is some big time bully shit.
Some other highlights of alleged life at Mountainside PD –
1) The Gazer Game
2) The Flashlight
3) Braining
This guy Huber was a real fuckin wild card:
There’s a lot more in there that’s not quite as lighthearted, like allegedly saying they “needed body cameras for the n-words” and stuff like that. They allegedly played games where they tried to run each other off the road at high speeds in their cop cars, aimed laser scoped guns at each other, sexually harassed females, held knives to throats. Not good stuff!
Probably got to clean house at this point. At least they’ll always have the memories of that decade with Big Blue. Just some silly dildo pranks.