Find Out What Happened After IG Girl Aliza Told The World She Blew 7 Phoenix Suns (Never In 500,000 Years Will You Guess What Her Job Was)
We spoke to Adam22 from No Jumper to get the follow up on the fallout of the most scandalous sports story in years. Some of it makes sense, and some of it is absolutely preposterous.
Makes Sense
1) Aliza comes from a Mormon family. Classic story of the repressed girl who lashes out WAY more than had you just let her enjoy life a little bit instead reading the Bible. If you let her suck 1 dick when she was growing up she wouldnt be sucking 7 today. Also, all that polyamorous shit really came back to bit you in the ass, eh dad? Which brings me to:
2) She was disowned by her family. I got the type of family who are ride or fucking die. I could tell everyone that I sucked 7 NBA dicks and they would have my back. And I'm not saying in some hypothetical where I was an IG thot. Im saying me, myself, Kevin Clancy, could blow 7 NBA players and my family would be like, "What? Like its hard?" But Aliza and her Mormon family are no longer on speaking terms. Which doesnt bother Aliza one bit because...
3) She made 60,000 dollars in 2 days. Probably more as you read this. Because we are living in the middle of a revolution, folks. The Only Fans Golden Age. And while I find it EXTREMELY annoying to bust my ass all day and all night making endless amounts of content and I will never SNIFF that sort of income, I am also grateful we now live in a world where girls like Aliza are just like "Fuck it, I'll become an amateur porn star." And you can file this under "100% Makes A Ton Of Fucking Sense" because I am gonna have to watch this girl suck someone's dick at some point.
4) Aliza was fired from her job...
Makes No Sense
1) ...Aliza was fired from her job as a CPA!!!! A Certified Public Accountant!!!!!! Fucking LUNACY! Now, the accounting firm was owned by her father so the firing was part of the disowning and I bet she just sits at a desk and never passed the CPA test but its HILARIOUS to think that she was walking around telling people she was a CPA and ended up with this being her lasting legacy.
Part of me feels a kinship with Aliza. We are kindred spirits. We both left the accounting world to whore ourselves out on the internet. She, literally. I, metaphorically. I do it with a lot of white guys, she does it with a lot of black guys. But at the end of the day, we're just trying to be *girly star emoji* happy *girly star emoji*
Latest Videos
25 videos
Barstool Employee Hosts His Own Dating Show In The Office | VIVA TV
2Spooky Football Is Here, It's Time to LOCK In | Pro Football Football Show Week 5
3Jersey Jerry's Commitment To His Seat Is Debated - Barstool Sports Advisors Week 5
4Barstool Pizza Review - Pizza Friendly Pizza (Chicago, IL) presented by NASCAR
5Frank Walks Episode 24: Bobby Valentine presented by BodyArmor
6Episode 139: Gonzaga Will Join The Pac-12 + Karl-Anthony Towns Traded To The New York Knic...
7Momma Rice Has Gone Off The Rails - October 3rd, 2024 Barstool Rundown
8Connor Stalions Is Barstool Chicago's Newest Intern? | Barstool College Football Show Week...
9Barstool Pizza Review - Pie-Eyed Pizzeria (Chicago, IL)
10Raw Dogging at Mr. J's Dawg & Burger in Chicago
11Barstool Sports Advisors Week 5 TNF
12Who Would Dave Portnoy Take First Overall For A Barstool Sports Redraft? | The Unnamed Sho...
13I Surprised Francis With An Invite To My Wedding
14Who Is the Most Hateable Fictional Character Ever? (The Bracket, Vol. 146)
15Barstool Has Major NIL Deals in the Works - Pick Em Week 6
16Ringside at the WWE of MEXICO (Lucha Libre)
17This Playoff Run Could Be Peak Happiness For Mets Fans - October 2nd, 2024 - Barstool Spor...
18Barstool Pizza Review - D'Agostino's Pizza and Pub (Chicago, IL)
19FULL VIDEO EPISODE: Booger McFarland, MNF Recap, Playoff Baseball Is Here, College Footbal...
20Tank Cooks CEO Breakfast Casserole
21Creating the ULTIMATE Super Food Steak Wrap | What's For Lunch Presented by Primal Kitchen
22Chex Mix May Have Figured Out How To Remix A Buffalo Chicken Sandwich Into Snack Form
23Should the Dolphins Trade for Zach Wilson? - Octover 1st, 2024 - Barstool Sports
24Barstool Pizza Review - MiYork East Coast Kitchen (Walled Lake, MI)
25A Bunch Of Smoking Hot Mormon Ladies Got A Show On Hulu Because They Got Caught Sleeping W...