Easily The Biggest Inconvenience In The Barstool Office

Taking a piss 25 times in twelve hours is a relief schedule that would make Ol' Faithful herself blush, so what is Dr. Berry Shepherd even doing when he is scoping Tommy's brown little button hole? Simply enjoying the view? Tommy Smokes may be a reality show expert, but his real life is in shambles. Forced to dehydrate himself to a withered husk only to knock himself down to a mild inconvenience to the driver with 6 stops on a small road trip. I could easily do twelve hours with two stops (who couldn't), but those diversions from the trip would be more to explore what treasures lie within the small town gas stations along the trip. A dream catcher t-shirt and a 9'' hunting blade? Throw them in my cart.

This comment about Tommy Smokes made me laugh. The older I get, the more I could see a preoccupied parent accidentally leaving their kid somewhere, but Smokes is a kid whose abandonment would be 100% intentional. Stopping a million times would make me feel like I'm making ZERO PROGRESS on a road trip, and that feels like a good enough reason to live my shitty kid at a gas station during our family Spring Break. Go live in the circus with the other freaks and become The Boy with the Tiny Pea sized Bladder.

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Lowering The Bar