CRAIGSLIST ADVENTURES WITH GLENNY AND ASA or I MET A GUY OFF CRAIGSLIST AND I'M STILL ALIVE

It’s a beautiful day: the sun is out, the birds are chirping, and my asshole is in tact. If you’ve been following my hunt for this year’s hot toy, you know that yesterday was the day Glenny and I went to Times Square for the Craigslist pickup of a Hatchimal. Halfway through the Uber drive there, I realized what we were doing could possibly be illegal – and my fear of being raped/murdered was instantly replaced by the fear of being arrested. It didn’t help that the location we were heading to was NYPD-central, and it really didn’t help when two cops came up to us and shook my hand – the very hand that was tightly holding onto the 160 dollars that I had repeatedly practiced slyly slipping into the palm of the dealer. Glenny attempted to calm me down by giving a detailed play-by-play on how he came to boycotting Chipotle. It sort of worked.

All in all, Project Hatchimal was a smooth transaction from beginning to end. 10/10 would recommend purchasing sold-out-everywhere toys off of Craigslist. 11/10 would recommend GlennyBalls as a bodyguard and accomplice. I’ll even go as far as saying it was tremendous fun – I can’t deny the adrenaline I felt throughout the entire event. The journey there. Smoothly lying to the cops. The moment I saw the dealer. Slipping the money in his hand. Examining the product. Riding the high of a successful quest. It was invigorating. I felt like a young teenaged drug addict again.

Latest Videos

25 videos

1
First "Barstool Beach House" Night Out Goes Off The Rails | VIVA TV

First "Barstool Beach House" Night Out Goes Off The Rails | VIVA TV

2
Frank Walks Episode 61: Trevor May presented by BODYARMOR

Frank Walks Episode 61: Trevor May presented by BODYARMOR

3
Barstool Pizza Review - Pizza Di Farfalla (New Lenox, IL)

Barstool Pizza Review - Pizza Di Farfalla (New Lenox, IL)

4
Raw Dogging at Hot Dog Hut in Harrison, NJ

Raw Dogging at Hot Dog Hut in Harrison, NJ

5
Talking Barstool Basketball & More From The Writer Cup | The Unnamed Show Episode 64

Talking Barstool Basketball & More From The Writer Cup | The Unnamed Show Episode 64

6
Who Is The Best Action Movie Hero? (The Bracket, Vol. 179)

Who Is The Best Action Movie Hero? (The Bracket, Vol. 179)

7
Barstool Pizza Review - La Villa Restaurant (Chicago, IL)

Barstool Pizza Review - La Villa Restaurant (Chicago, IL)

8
Tank Cooks Baked Creamy Crispy Chicken

Tank Cooks Baked Creamy Crispy Chicken

9
Barstool Pizza Review - Chicago's Pizza (Chicago, IL) presented by Rhoback

Barstool Pizza Review - Chicago's Pizza (Chicago, IL) presented by Rhoback

10
Tank's Ballpark Tour: Globe Life Park Home of the Texas Rangers

Tank's Ballpark Tour: Globe Life Park Home of the Texas Rangers

11
REVIEW: '28 Years Later' Is the Best Zombie Movie In Ages Despite An All-Time Strange Ending

REVIEW: '28 Years Later' Is the Best Zombie Movie In Ages Despite An All-Time Strange Endi...

12
Dave Puts Asterisks On Thunder Title After Achilles Injury - Barstool Rundown - June 23rd, 2025

Dave Puts Asterisks On Thunder Title After Achilles Injury - Barstool Rundown - June 23rd,...

13
Barstool Pizza Review - Dino's Italian Pizza (Chicago, IL)

Barstool Pizza Review - Dino's Italian Pizza (Chicago, IL)

14
The Dozen Brings Chaos to the Barstool Office | VIVA TV

The Dozen Brings Chaos to the Barstool Office | VIVA TV

15
Frank Walks Episode 60: Rone presented by BODYARMOR

Frank Walks Episode 60: Rone presented by BODYARMOR

16
Barstool Pizza Review - La Pizza Nostra (Miami, FL) presented by Kraken

Barstool Pizza Review - La Pizza Nostra (Miami, FL) presented by Kraken

17
Raw Dogging at McKenna's Pub in NYC

Raw Dogging at McKenna's Pub in NYC

18
Hitting On Lifeguards (Pt. 2)

Hitting On Lifeguards (Pt. 2)

19
The Show Revolts Over The Dozen Schedule | The Unnamed Show Episode 63

The Show Revolts Over The Dozen Schedule | The Unnamed Show Episode 63

20
Barstool Pizza Review - Mamale Cafe (Bay Harbor Islands, FL)

Barstool Pizza Review - Mamale Cafe (Bay Harbor Islands, FL)

21
Tank Cooks Grilled Tomahawk Pork Chops

Tank Cooks Grilled Tomahawk Pork Chops

22
Rold Gold Responds To Dot's With New Doritos Cool Ranch Collab

Rold Gold Responds To Dot's With New Doritos Cool Ranch Collab

23
Barstool Pizza Review - Anthony's Coal Fired Pizza (Miami, FL) presented by Rhoback

Barstool Pizza Review - Anthony's Coal Fired Pizza (Miami, FL) presented by Rhoback

24
Francis Teaches An Idiot The Vietnam War

Francis Teaches An Idiot The Vietnam War

25
Barstool Pizza Review - Marc's Artisanal Pizzeria (Miami Beach, FL)

Barstool Pizza Review - Marc's Artisanal Pizzeria (Miami Beach, FL)