Nobody Is Better At Product Placement When The Bright Lights Are On Than Me #CapsYear

.

First of all, shout out to me for my Madden awareness level at 99 there. When the bright lights were on last night, I showed up and delivered.

At first I’m just shuckin n jivin with the ever so handsome Rob Carlin. Going over theories of why this year is different from every other year.

“What could possibly go wrong”, we say to each other through smiles and laughter that we force through 40 years of hockey sadness. Please don’t ask me why my fingers are so long, your mom doesn’t, heyoooooooooo.

And then we notice the ginormous bird in a hockey jersey standing not more than 6 inches away from us. Why we didn’t notice it sooner? Who knows, but boy was I excited. Again, my ET fingers have no comment.

And that’s when my 6th sense kicks in. I can’t see dead people, read minds, or do anything that requires the tiniest bit of athleticism, but I do leap into action like god damn Superman with product placement when the cameras are on. Case in point:

.

So what happens?

We check ourselves out on the HD big screen. Him looking dapper in his suit and pocket square, me looking jacked (I work out, nbd) in my Our Year shirt, available for purchase in the Barstool Sports store. And then I spring into action.

Pay close attention to this part, because I go down into a power chugging stance that only can be described as heroic.

Slapshot doesn’t know what’s happening behind him, but this guy was loving it:

They cut away for a minute to a fantastic ally….

….but they knew they had to come back. Probably because my bicep was popping.

God damn did I look good in 100 foot HD.

You have my word that I’ll never shy away from pimping out Barstool whenever I have a chance. And thanks to everyone who has bought a shirt. #CapsYear