Barstool’s Champions League Preview – The “Hot seat: Spurs; Cool throne: Liverpool” edition

Sam’s Safe Space For Soccer Stoolies

Hi Haters™,

So much beautiful soccer. So little time. The new format TNT has put in place with doubleheaders each day is nice, though (1) don’t let it distract you from the fact they are televising way, WAAAAAAAAY less games overall this year than ever before… and (b) it is a real pain in the ass for anyone trying to get a blog out before kickoff. Alas, c’est la vid.

Note: if you prefer your previews and predictions in audio (or just feel like doing me a solid), go head and follow this link and

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Without further ado though, let’s take a quick peek at the games on deck today.

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CHAMPIONS LEAGUE

Scores from the first half of Matchday #2 (played yesterday):

3-scores

Interim group tables as they stand right now:

4-groups

And today’s slate of games:

5-schedule
Note: all kickoff times in ET

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PICKS OF THE (MID)WEEK

Napoli [+230]
Liverpool [+105]
Draw [+250]

Spurs/Barcelona may be a little more compelling (from an EPL-centric POV anyway) given Tottenham’s opening day loss, but I’m starting off with this one because Napoli and Liverpool is one of those games that – like Chelsea/Liverpool this weekend – promises to be a must-see game… meaning you better plan on finding a stream (legal or otherwise) because it ain’t gonna be on TV.

6-reddit

Napoli are coming off a 1-3 loss at Juventus this weekend, but there is no shame in losing to the Old Lady in Turin and the team seems to be finding its sea legs after some early struggles. That said they picked up a disappointing draw in the first Champions League game against the weakling of the group in Red Star Belgrade, meaning a win today would be huge and a loss would be devastating. Liverpool probably need no introduction at this point. There is a reason I picked them to win the league this season – that being Klopp’s willingness to spend and spend smartly to fill holes and shore up their depth. This is a very good team, full stop.

Walking into Napoli and coming away with a result in a game like this for Liverpool – especially with the Italians feeling a little pinch after the poor result last match day – would not be a terrible result for Liverpool. Either way the dual attacking styles should make for a highly entertaining game that I’ll say ends in a 2-2 draw.

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Tottenham [+275]
Barcelona [-110]
Draw [+290]

Is it possible that Spurs come up with a “famous win” against Barcelona? Well, if they had something even mildly resembling their best XI on the field then I’d say it might be possible. Alas, that ain’t the case here.

Add to that the fact Messi got off the plane looking like a damn SNACK and I don’t think it is an overstatement to say:

So a win is pretty much not even within the realm of possibility for Spurs given the decimated midfield. What about a “famous result” (aka draw)? I’d say there is an outside chance of that. Very, very outside. Like “around the block, down the street and up the road into the wilderness camping in a meadow” outside. It would require a huge game from Sanchez, Alderweireld, the wing backs and especially Hugo Lloris combined with a really poor performance from Barcelona. So never say never buttttttt is it worth putting money on? Against Messi, Suarez, Coutinho and perhaps Dembele? Yeah, no thanks. Barcelona to win 3-1.

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Additional picks (to increase the odds I eventually get one right) going in order from most to least interesting:

PSG v RED STAR BELGRADE – The Frenchies are coming off a heartbreaking last second loss at Liverpool last time out in Champions League while the Serbians may still be drunk celebrating having earned a point in such a tough group. This game feels like it is going to be a serious bitch-smacking. PSG to win 4-0.

PSV v INTER – The Dutchies have been scoring on everybody and not letting anybody score on them, outscoring opponents by the combined score of 22-1 since the start of September (and have 21 points from seven games domestically – which by my math is pretty good)…… HOWEVER, those stats comes with an asterisk the size of Michael Rapaport’s (definitely) NON-herpes sore as it does not include the game against Barcelona a couple weeks ago in which they got run off the field and lost 0-4. So is PSV one of those teams that bullies little guys but gets bullied by real teams? Bout to find out today. After a bit of a slow start Inter seem to have found their form, winning a number of tight, low-scoring games after Tottenham’s late collapse slump-busted them back to life. This game feels like one where we should learn a lot about whether PSV is legit or not… I’m going with a 1-1 draw.

ATLETICO v BRUGGE – Diego Simeone. Champions League. In Madrid. Atleti win 1-0. Rinse. Repeat.

DORTMUND v MONACOPop quiz: without looking, what place in the Ligue 1 table is Monaco right now? Did you guess 11th? Congrats, you’re wrong. Did you guess 2nd? Congrats, you’re extremely wrong. Did you guess 18th? Congrats, you cheated! (Or worse, you’re actually French, in which case bonjour.) Suffice to say Monaco have been turrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrible in the league so far this season, scrounging just six points from eight games. In Ligue 1. Against teams like Nimes, Amiens, Angers and Dijon Mustard. WOOF. On the other hand Dortmund and BVBabyjesus are on top of the Bundesliga. Did I mention they have BVBabyjesus? And Jadon Sancho? And Marco Reus? Yikes. To be fair Monaco is better than their early results would suggest (though their offense led by Falcao has been atrocious so far), but walking into the Westfalenstadion and coming away with points – even just one – seems a little much at this point. Dortmund to win 2-0.

DON’T DO IT TO EM, PULLY!

DON’T DO IT TO EM, PULLY!

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So there we have it, boys and girls. One more weekend of games before the international break so I will be back with a new episode of Sam’s Army on Friday morning and (hopefully) a preview blog soon after. Big, big, huge, MASSIVE thanks to everybody who has been tuning in! xoxo


Holler,
Samuel Army