Admiring The Figurative Size Of Your Testicles Is The Highest Praise One Can Get From Their Teammates, And The Coyotes Know Niklas Hjalmarsson Has A Massive Sack
Niklas Hjalmarsson is one of the most underrated defensemen in the National Hockey League. I think part of the reason he’s so underrated is just because so many people don’t know how to pronounce his name so rather than completely botch it, they decide to not say it entirely. You can always just shorten it up to “Hammer” but it’s kind of weird to start breaking out players’ nicknames especially if you’re not even a fan of the team. But yeah, Hjalmarsson doesn’t get nearly enough credit as he deserves for helping Chicago win those 3 Stanley Cups from 2010-2015. And the fact that he was dealt to the Arizona Coyotes for a bag of pucks and some extra rolls of tape is proof of that.
However, Nik Hjalmarsson is now a major piece of this Arizona Coyotes turnaround. This team hasn’t made it to the playoffs since losing in the Western Conference Finals in 2011-12. That was also the only season in the franchise’s history that they won a playoff series. They came into the league in 1996-97. They’ve advanced to the playoffs in just 8 seasons so far and they’ve lost in the first round 7 of those 8 years. But they have the pieces in place right now (minus a goalie) to get things turned around. They have a ton of young talent offensively with Clayton Keller, Alex Galchenyuk, Dylan Strome, Brendan Perlini, Christian Dvorak and Lawson Crouse all under 25 years old. Oliver Ekman-Larsson is also an incredibly underrated defenseman who could be a star in this league if he was playing for a team who actually mattered for the past 5-6 years unlike the Coyotes. As soon as Jakob Chychrun comes back from his ACL injury, that’s another big piece to that blueline. And then you’ve got Niklas Hjalmarsson as the backbone. Not only does he provide the veteran experience in that locker room as a 3x Stanley Cup winner, but he’s putting his body on the line and stepping in front of Ovechkin one-t’s like he doesn’t give a single fuck in the world. Every great team needs a player like Nik Hjalmarsson in their lineup. A sick son of a bitch who doesn’t care about anything besides the team. So if that means he has to basically attempt suicide by standing in front of an Ovi clap bomb from the top of the circles? Well guess what? Somebody tell the equipment manager to get this guy a bigger cup because there’s no chance in hell his nuts can fit in the one he has right now.
You know the phrase “Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard”? Well that’s true in a sense, but it’s not the whole story. The full story is that “hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard, but a giant set of testicles beats everything”. And that’s what Niklas Hjalmarsson has on him. A giant pair of meaty nuts that he puts on the line for the boys. And the boys respect the hell out of it. That’s what being the perfect teammate is all about.