This *Incredible* Goal From Scotland's Erin Cuthbert Has Me ALL JAZZED UP For The Women's World Cup

Ok look—it’s a great goal. Great strike, great goal. Do we see goals of this caliber from men’s soccer on a regular basis? Sure, but who cares. It’s 2019, we’re not doing that anymore. It’s time we readjust our lens a bit because, as it turns out, we are ONE WEEK AWAY from the Women’s World Cup! Annnnnnnd… the United States WILL play! They did it! The ladies did what the men could not: participate. And for that, we rip our shirts off and reveal our commemorative Brandi Chastain sports bras.

I still remember how engaging that ’99 world cup was. Mia Hamm, Michelle Akers, Brandi Chastain, Julie Foudy, Briana Scurry. Maybe it was just me, but I remember that World Cup far more than any of the other women’s world cups. Did they brand it better? Or was Mia Hamm just that awesome? That Gatorade commercial with MJ was one for the ages. My sister and I used to argue for hours about who, between MJ and Hamm, would actually win in a day of various sports like the commercial. Looking back, I can’t believe I even let her speak in that debate. lol Mia Hamm beating Michael fucking Jordan in anything? Dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Cool concept though.

I guess we’re supposed to keep an eye out for this Erin Cuthbert character. But what the fuck was going on with the announcers? Are they really calling the game in two different languages? You can’t just switch tongues on us mid-dribble like we’re at the UN general assembly. I believe the first one is Scottish Gaelic because one of the teams is Scotland, the other is Jamaica, and I can’t imagine they paired some Jamaican dude speaking Patois with some Scottish woman speaking “English” and told them to go back and forth. That’s a terrible production decision no matter how you slice it.

Here are my favorite women’s sports to watch:

1. Serena Williams

2. Ronda Rousey kicked in the face by Holly Holm

3. 1996 U.S. gymnastics team (h/t Dominique Dawes)

4. Mia Hamm soccer

5. Kerri Walsh & Misty May sand volleyball

56,732,876. Basketball