What THE FUCK Is Going On At Lollapallooza Right Now

I know Kmarko just blogged this. Eddie blogged it. Everyone’s getting a taste of the take and since it’s my dog all these fucking high school suburban kids walking around on molly are trying to pet, I’m willing to spend an hour in reblog jail to blow some shit off my chest. I don’t care. Sue me.

This is what happens when you pump an entire generation full of pharmaceuticals and replace Sunday School with ipads. Just absolute fucking chaos top to bottom. And you know what? Good for them. Good for all these stupid slutty dumb ass fucking 18+ year olds that are willing to risk 12 hours in the back of a 96 degree paddy wagon for a Friday jumping around in garbage cans.

When I was your age.

Shut the fuck up and let me finish.

When I was your age we hid 30 racks of busch heavy in Mt. Greenwood alleys. There were scheduled fights at Beverly park. Parties consisted of 30 red solo cups and a poorly tapped keg someone’s cousin home from Eastern Illinois for Thanksgiving bought. You promise to get the deposit back this time but if Doyle shows up nevermind that – he’s probably taking it home with him as a trophy. Fucking Rita kids.

At some point you’ll go to Rosies, El Gallo, Nonnas, WHATEVER I DON’T CARE and you’d crush some late night. Then you’d leave a voicemail for that girl you’re trying to finger bang before getting dropped off by someone’s mom. She was driving a suburban and had a bad haircut but always showed up when her son called. Rain or shine, day or night, either side of Western, she was there.

That was high school and it was fucking great.