Big News In Illinois: Robbing People Is Now Finally Illegal Thanks To Our Glorious Governor JB Pritzker!

CHICAGO (WLS) -- Governor JB Pritzker will sign a bill into law Friday to crack down on smash-and-grab burglaries and other retail theft. Governor Pritzker will sign a retail theft crime bill into law at Water Tower Place on the Magnificent Mile.

The governor hopes that the organized retail crime act will provide better tools to help hold criminals accountable and close prosecution loopholes, especially when it comes to criminals who are orchestrating smash and grab robberies and looting.

In recent months, Chicago has seen a rash of organized retail thefts along Michigan Avenue including the Gucci store, Burberry and Macy's.

Goods were stolen by thieves or groups of thieves and it's a trend retailers have been seeing for a while causing serious concerns about safety downtown.

Some stores have chosen to leave or are rethinking their locations.

That's right, crooks! Your days are done. Now, finally, there is a law against destruction of property and robbery. All this time I was sitting here wondering how these people could get away with smashing glass windows and stealing thousands of dollars of goods. Well...it wasn't illegal I guess. Thank god for JB! 

Don't stop, now Pritzker. Get that pen out again. We need laws against carjacking and murder too! We have been sitting here for years and years wondering how to stop crime in this city and nobody ever thought to just make crime illegal. The work of a genius. Re-election now in the bag.