Science Now Claims That T-Rex's Had The Ability To Problem Solve And Develop "Culture"
Oh cool, so T-Rex's could solve problems, use tools, develop "cultures" and do other things humans do today, and I'm supposed to be impressed?
Nope. Not even remotely close. Ya know why?
Because they're fucking EXTINCT. Those fucking losers aren't around anymore. They were selected by nature to GTFO and that's exactly what they did. They got the fuck out. They weren't smart enough to survive the comet that wiped them out. Fucking idiots!!! Even rats and vermin survived that thing. Couldn't even handle a little heat. In the words of Ian Malcom of Jurassic Park, "This isn't some species that was obliterated by deforestation, or the building of a dam. Dinosaurs had their shot, and nature selected them for extinction."
I do appreciate the evolution of animals as a whole, though. Wanna see something sweet? Some species of birds - mostly crows and "ravenoids" - have evolved to the point where they use tools and problem solve too.
Here's a magpie using pebbles to raise the water level in a water bottle so he could reach the water with his beak:
Pretty fucking cool.
Here's another one of a crow bending a paper clip into a hook to fish a worm out of a test tube:
And here's monkeys using tools to smash open shells to get food:
Even my goddamn dog has learned how to open doors to drink out of the toilet. It's the goddamn planet of the apes!
As sweet as it is getting stoned to bejesus and watching animals using tools to hunt and eat, all it means is that in like 5 or 10 years they're going to take over the world. All good with me, so long as one of my teams wins a championship before it's all said and done. That's all I care about. If one of them weasels their way to a 'ship, then I'll gladly sacrifice myself to a gaggle of silverback apes or genius crows with an insatiable appetite for taking over the world.
Ain't scared about T-Rex's though. Those pussies are dead.
PS - I watched "Our Great National Parks" last night, which is currently on Netflix and narrated by Barry O. It was fantastic. I highly recommend taking a heavy dose of 3chi and watching it, you will be entertained to no end. It's a visual masterpiece: