I'm Going Through A Health Crisis (I Got Fat)

So, I have a confession that I laid out above. I am going through a bit of a health crisis. A health crisis in the name of weight gain. Maybe you guys haven't noticed because everyone on the internet has been SUPER cool and not rude or invasive at all. You'd never be weird on the internet. So thanks for that. 

I need to get it together though. It's been about 5 years since I have been in good shape. It's also been about 5 years since I started this job. Look at early 2019 Chief

A jaw, only one chin, and tits that could fit inside of a soccer jersey size L. The type of physique that wouldn't have women lead with "he's funny" or "he has a great personality". I was weighing in around 215lbs there. Even when I am in shape…I am a large human. 

Right now I weight about 235lbs. That's a 20lbs gain of strictly fat. My fat goes to my Joe West gullet and b cups. It's not great. In fact…its a health crisis. Many people gained weight in recent years. People blamed covid, they blamed the holidays, they blamed their sedentary life style. 

I am not here to do any of that. I want to blame group fitness and society. It's not my fault. It's theirs. I recently got a peloton and I've been enjoying it. Good machine. Good program. Yada yada yada. The classes suck. All of them. They don't meet my needs. My need to be motivated through shame. They're always blabbing about positivity and this holistic style of exercise about feeling good about yourself. Fuck that noise. I want to be a hottie. I went to a soul cycle class one time and the instructor said "peddle harder for your first love". What in the FUCK does that mean? 

This is what I want 

Don't be nice to me. Don't tell me to ride for my first love unless you're going to follow it up with "she dumped you because you got fucking fat and you're a pathetic loser". THAT would motivate me. That would get my legs pumping. Essentially telling me how great I am while exercising and that I should love myself makes me think that I don't need to be on the bike to begin with, but anyone who has watched my transformation on the internet for the last 5 years knows that ain't the case. 

#HeartCycle is a thing. I started the group on the peloton. You can follow me on there. Insults only. We are trying to get out of crisis.