The Chicago Basketball Court Should Be Named After Me

First things first—shoutout to Rone for putting this whole thing together. Simply a genius idea. Honestly, it reminded me of some of the older Barstool content that made me fall in love with the brand in the first place. There’s something special about when the whole office comes together for an event like this. If we did more things like it, I truly believe the content would capture that same magic from back in the day.

But enough of the nice guy stuff—let’s get to the real story. From this point forward, the Chicago office basketball court should be called Smokes House. Period. 64+ Barstool employees went head-to-head in a one-on-one, first-to-one tournament, and there was only one winner: me.

Winning a tournament as the No. 1 seed is already tough. But winning a first-to-one tournament as the No. 1 seed? That’s a whole different level of difficulty. I had no margin for error. Every game, I had to play a perfect possession. And I did. Being the top seed meant I never got the ball first, so every single game, I had to lock my opponent down on defense. And guess what? I did that, too.

Hate me or love me, it doesn’t matter. I’m the king of the Chicago office basketball court.

Now, I get that my attitude on the court might rub some people the wrong way—but honestly? I don’t care. Anytime I step between those lines, I’m there to win. Sure, it’s content, but I’m not about to fake it and pretend like I don’t care. That would be a disservice to everyone watching. Fuck that—I’m here to compete.

And that’s exactly what I’m going to do in the championship game. Stay tuned.

PS: It's messed up I lost my email privileges simply for loving ball too much.