I Stand With Francis: Shooters Shoot!

Last night, I somehow found myself watching an old Barstool video featuring Dave Portnoy and Big Cat attending a Michigan vs. Wisconsin game dressed as a slice of pizza and a burrito. One video led to another, and before I knew it, I was deep in a rabbit hole of classic Barstool content, laughing uncontrollably. There’s something about that era of Barstool—raw, unfiltered, and chaotic—that makes me wish I had been around during 2017. Not necessarily because it was the so-called “peak Barstool,” but because, as someone who thrives in the middle of nonstop chaos, I know I would have fit right in. But that’s a story for another day.

As many of you already know, I’ve been guilty of dipping my pen in company ink one too many times. And, naturally, that makes me an easy target. People love to paint me as the resident douchebag, the guy who just can’t help himself. But here’s the thing about history—it has a funny way of repeating itself. I’m not here to name names, but let’s just say I’m far from the only one who has indulged in some workplace extracurriculars.

While he may not have dipped his pen in company ink—at least not to my knowledge—Francis Ellis did something that I genuinely respect. I can’t remember her name, but she is an absolute rocket. She came to Barstool HQ for some PR-related appearance, though I couldn’t care less about why she was there. The only thing that mattered was that she was fine as hell. And Francis, being the dog that he is, did what any self-respecting man in his position would do—he shot his shot.

Of course, Dave and Big Cat wasted no time shredding him for it, calling him out for using his association with Barstool as leverage to slide into her DMs. Now, don’t get me wrong, I get where they’re coming from. Hitting on someone in the office is unprofessional. But once she walks out those doors? That’s fair game. My brother in Christ, have you heard of Tommy Smokes? You know how many guys at this company, guys with absolutely zero game, use the “I work for Barstool” line to get some pussy? Don’t even get me started. It’s practically an unspoken tradition at this point. And yet, Francis catches heat for playing the same game? Seems a little hypocritical if you ask me.

Now, I know that by endorsing Francis, I’m probably only strengthening Dave and Dan’s case against him. But from one dog to another—I would have done the exact same thing. If you’ve got the opportunity, why not take the shot? Life’s too short to let a prime opportunity slip through your fingers. At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to win, and if you ask me, Francis was just playing the game like any self-respecting City Boy would. #CityBoysUp