A Naked Man Was Hopping On Unsuspecting Boats In Chicago And "Swinging Around" Before Being Thrown Off Then Arrested

I wanted to make a joke about this, along the lines of "was that wrong?"

Or, I thought this was America.

Or something about this guy being invited to a swingers party on the water or something, and having the wrong address.

But this is 2025, and this isn't a laughing matter. Especially if you were aboard one of those boats last night in Diversey harbor. Especially if you were one of the responders who had to clean up this mess.

I don't know how Chicago police do it man. Especially in the summer. Imagine getting this call from the 911 operator? 

"We've got calls about a naked male, swimming at Diversey Harbor hopping onto people's boats, and helicoptering his dick. We need officers in the area to respond."

I also can't believe somebody got a bird's eye view of this on video. Those guys were probably just getting back to the dock after a nice day on Lake Michigan, finishing off the last few beers in the Yeti. The last thing on their mind's was getting boarded by a drunk-naked-pirate.

(Sidebar - not to throw shots at anybody for their fighting skills, as I'm the last person to talk, but these guys had to just be so rattled and caught off guard by this guy right? No other way to explain the horrible punches thrown at him. Especially by the guy in the tan.)

But imagine if this wasn't caught on video? And these guys trying to go home and tell their wives this story? There is 0.000% chance anybody would believe this, I don't care who you are. You could be Honest Abraham Lincoln and nobody would buy this. It would be like Chunk calling the police on the Frattellis all over again. 

Last thing. This guy is a creep show, and also probably a felon now, but have to admit, he gets an A-for-effort on the Superman pose.