Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 27 - Why I'm Not Cool Enough To Do Drugs

-I know I’m not cool enough to do drugs because I need water to swallow pills. People in movies are always throwing back pills and just swallowing them on their own. Meanwhile, I need a slug of water just to get my Zyrtec down every morning.

-One of life’s most satisfying feelings is when someone accuses you of being in their seat at a game, on a plane, at the movies, etc. but you’re actually not. They’re in the wrong and walk away looking like idiots while you give them a smug look. The moment where you guys take out your tickets to compare them is quite a rush.

-When people say, “Are you ready for this?”, they never actually wait for a response to see if the other person is ready.

-It should be acceptable to wake up anybody snoring in public. I don’t care where it is, if someone is snoring in a public place and it’s annoying, you should have every right to wake them up.

-I think it’s a law that all department stores must play the song “Drops Of Jupiter” by Train at least once an hour.

-Are there attractive animals? Humans look very different, but I feel like a lot of animals of the same species look very similar. Like has one elephant ever looked at another elephant and thought “Holy shit I need to all up in that hot piece of ass.”

-I don’t like opera singing.

-The coolest way to hold an iced coffee is to hold it from the lid with the straw between your middle and index finger. You look much cooler than putting your hand around the body of the cup. Please see video for demonstration.

-Fat people should just rebrand themselves as “foodies.”

-I don’t think I’ve mentioned this, but I’ve started working out at the gym. Here’s a gym hack I’ve been doing: When I’m done with a machine, I change it to a much higher weight and then walk away so the next person thinks I’m much stronger than I actually am.

Guest Thought Of The Week

From Young Pageviews

-I wonder if other fish have any recognition of their friends getting hooked next to them.  Do they think the other fish just went psycho and started swimming crazily and then just jumped into the sky forever?  There must be so many confused Stripers swimming around the Northeast thinking about their friends from years ago.

Be sure to check out the premiere of Barstool Outdoors dropping at 2 PM. It is going to be unbelievably awesome. 

Audience Thought Of The Week

If you have a thought you want to be included in this blog, hit me up on Twitter/Instagram @tomscibelli and I’ll include the best one of the week. 

From @moose_carmody on Twitter

-Why do places in public only specify that shoes and shirts are required? As if not wearing pants would be OK. Or is it just generally illegal to not wear pants in public?

Thank you for your time.