Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 50 - The First Swimmer

-I wonder who the first person to swim was. Just saw a giant body of water, thought “Ah fuck it, I’ll figure it out” and went right in. 

-When someone sneezes, I like to try to sneak in a blessing for myself. If it’s my parents, I’ll say “God bless you and all of your children.” If it’s a friend, “God bless you and all of your friends.” If it’s a co-worker who I wouldn’t totally consider a friend but maybe, then I just won’t risk it and say “God bless you and all of your co-workers.” No reason I can’t be getting blessed too. 

-I feel like exclamation points can often make casual statements seem sarcastic, so I try to avoid using them!

-I’d much rather be middle class today than a rich person in the 1920s. All the money in the world can’t buy you an iPhone. I’ll pass on a mansion where I stare at walls all day and instead take a studio apartment with WiFi.

-If you quote retweet someone who tweeted “Don’t @ me” then you technically obliged. 

-We always refer to big, monuments events or performance as “historic,” but technically everything becomes a part of history and is therefore historic.

-As a now veteran gym buff and “meathead,” you may wonder if I’ll get annoyed this month with all newbies crowding up the place. But I won’t. I’m proud of these people for starting their fitness journey. While weak and fat now, one day they can maybe be a chiseled Greek God like me. Unlikely but possible. 

-Steak fries have too much potato and not enough crunch. Worst fries around. 

-When I’m watching an old, classic movie that I haven’t seen, I love when someone drops a line or reference that makes me realize “Oh that’s where that comes from!”

-I wish the whole world watched and live tweeted Survivor the same way they do for The Bachelor.

Audience Thought Of The Week

From @chrisboyages on Instagram

-We technically only have two minutes to live, but every time we breath oxygen, the timer resets.

Thank you for your time.