Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 55 - "Conveniently Located"

-It’s probably extremely difficult for actual Nigerian princes to ever send emails. 

-I hate when a place says that they’re “conveniently located” somewhere. Who are they to say what’s convenient for me? Sure if it’s right next door to me, then that’s awfully convenient. But if I have to hop on a subway, maybe transfer somewhere, hop on another subway, then walk another 5-10 minutes until I arrive, then that’s just not convenient for me. 

-I’m a big fan of laugh reacting to my own texts in a group message. Gotta get the ball rolling somehow, and I do often make myself chuckle. 

-In kindergarten, I went through a phase where I was an absolutely compulsive liar. I first lied that I had a pet aardvark. Animal control issue. I then lied that I used to take the train alone to the city to visit my grandma. At 5. Child services issue. But I really fucked myself when I said that I had a dreamcatcher and the teacher told everyone to bring in their dreamcatcher the next day. So that night I went home, took some crayons, colored on a paper plate, and brought that in as my dreamcatcher. 

-I’ve always thought the word “reckless” started with a “w.” It turns out that it does not. That is all. 

-A great perk of my apartment is that there’s always one free copy of the Wall Street Journal outside the building for me each morning. Always has some other guy’s name on it though. So weird.

-Speaking of the WSJ, I am becoming a big time investor nowadays. I’ve already made $92 this week. This shit is so easy. I’m not totally sure, but I think at this rate I should be a millionaire by the time I’m 30. 

-One of my dreams in life is to talk someone off a ledge. Like literally. I’m walking around the city one day and see some guy on a high-up window ledge. Nobody else is around to help him but me. I convince him that life is worth living and not to jump. He listens to me, goes back inside, and lives a happy life. It’s a big news story and I’m praised as a local hero. 

-I don’t care what the statistics say. I honestly feel like if I played the lottery 3-4 times per week for, say, 8 consecutive months, that I would eventually win it. I don’t really want to make the effort to go through with it though. 

Audience Thought Of The Week

If you have a thought you want to be included in this blog, hit me up on Twitter/Instagram @tomscibelli and I’ll include the best one of the week.

From @mdussault77 on Instagram

-Commercials are really a risky move. While I understand they are needed for marketing, there's a better chance I remember your commercial because it's annoying and I hate it so that I'll never use it. As opposed to me seeing a commercial and thinking "Boy, I need that shampoo."

Thank you for your time.