We Hired An Assassin To Kill White Sox Dave And He Was NOT Happy

And it wasn't even a piece of gum this time. During the #CommonManCup on Wednesday, White Sox Dave entered with a SQUAD. Because of that, he started flapping his underdeveloped lips. And because of that, I decided to hire an assassin to stream snipe and take him out during every single game. Enter Skullface49, one of the best to ever set foot in Verdansk. He will chug a case of Dr. Pepper, down 10 pounds of ziti, and slay you in Warzone before you nuts even have a chance to drop. All from a Venezualin prison cell while donning the best ~~wife bea-~~ tank top pennies at Wal-Mart can buy. How'd it all turn out? You tell us.

Congrats to the victors, may they relish in their eternal glory.

But as for ROTC Dave, one day he will be a good boy. One day it will finally be housebroken. Until then...