Albert Pujols Will Haunt Me FOREVER

Pujols is just 7 homers away from 700 and there's good reason to think he gets there by the end of this week. The machine got a software update and will simply not slow down. I've got quite literally two decades under my belt of watching Albert Pujols smash baseballs and apparently that's just not enough for the baseball gods. 

Nice blast from the big fella. Although it's my professional obligation to disclose the mounting public speculation that MLB has been swapping in juiced balls for his AB's. Don't shoot the messenger here - I'm just reporting on what I've heard. 

Personally I think it's all hogwash. My own conspiracy theory is that MLB pays cash bonuses for surrendering home runs to Albert Pujols. And if they don't do that already, get on it. I'd be serving cupcakes and butterflies down broadway all day. 

Truthfully though that's obviously not the case. I got shut down about as fast as hard as I could bring it up on this week's show. I thought maybe that would be a cultural thing in baseball where the pitcher just wants to feed a couple meatballs to #5. Who wouldn't? Do him a solid and give him some juicy looks on his way out the door. That's where I naturally went and turns out that just won't ever happen. 

Alternatively if this was the NBA, players quite literally would not play an ounce of defense on Albert Pujols. His opponents simply won't recover. They'd just let him drive by. They'd let him catch the ball outside the 3 second lane and drive all the way to the rim without one guy challenging him. The collective effort would resemble a mid-tier, 1980's Big Ten basketball team in the midst of an embarrassing midweek loss to Purdue. The defense would be so weak and paltry that you'd have no choice but to assume they had been relentlessly physically punished over the last 4 days. As if they had been run right into the ground with such wanton neglect that they don't even have the energy to actively suffer. 

If you understand that joke then go subscribe to Starting 9. You'll like the show Jake and I have been putting together. 

Barstool Baseball

25 videos

1
These Are The 9 Best Teams In MLB

These Are The 9 Best Teams In MLB

2
Baseball 101 -  The More You Know About MLB Arbitration, The More You'll Hate Your Cheap Owner

Baseball 101 - The More You Know About MLB Arbitration, The More You'll Hate Your Cheap O...

3
The Boston Red Sox Hate Their Own Guys

The Boston Red Sox Hate Their Own Guys

4
It's Only December 6th And We've Already Seen Over A Billion Dollars Of New MLB Contracts

It's Only December 6th And We've Already Seen Over A Billion Dollars Of New MLB Contracts

5
The Official MLB Free Agency Notebook - Predicting This Winter's Biggest Moves

The Official MLB Free Agency Notebook - Predicting This Winter's Biggest Moves

6
The World Series Preview Show

The World Series Preview Show

7
I Heard The Yankees Strongly Manipulated NYC Air Pressure Last Night To Generate The Nibostratus Clouds That Rained Out Game 5

I Heard The Yankees Strongly Manipulated NYC Air Pressure Last Night To Generate The Nibos...

8
Joe Girardi Has Balls (aka Testicles, Nutsack, Bag, etc.) The Size Of My Head

Joe Girardi Has Balls (aka Testicles, Nutsack, Bag, etc.) The Size Of My Head

9
Did Joe Musgrove Cheat Against The Mets?

Did Joe Musgrove Cheat Against The Mets?

10
The Atlanta Braves Are Now 60% More Likely To Win The World Series Than The New York Mets

The Atlanta Braves Are Now 60% More Likely To Win The World Series Than The New York Mets

11
There's No Way Albert Pujols Is Done Making 2022 His Bitch

There's No Way Albert Pujols Is Done Making 2022 His Bitch

12
Behind The Bow Tie: Ken Rosenthal Opens Up About The Current State Of MLB

Behind The Bow Tie: Ken Rosenthal Opens Up About The Current State Of MLB

13
Aaron Judge Deserves Nothing Less Than One Billion Dollars ($1,000,000,000)

Aaron Judge Deserves Nothing Less Than One Billion Dollars ($1,000,000,000)

14
MLB's Next MASSIVE Competitive Advantage Has Arrived And The Nerds Can't Do Anything About It

MLB's Next MASSIVE Competitive Advantage Has Arrived And The Nerds Can't Do Anything About...

15
We Had To Get Luis Castillo's Translator For Today's Interview And It Was AWESOME

We Had To Get Luis Castillo's Translator For Today's Interview And It Was AWESOME

16
What The Hell Happened To Josh Hader?

What The Hell Happened To Josh Hader?

17
Zack Greinke Gave Justin Turner Some Hitting Advice and His OBP Was Never The Same

Zack Greinke Gave Justin Turner Some Hitting Advice and His OBP Was Never The Same

Play Video
Albert Pujols Will Haunt Me FOREVERNow Playing

Albert Pujols Will Haunt Me FOREVER

19
It's Downright Shocking To Me That Joe Davis Started His Broadcasting Career With The Schaumburg Flyers (And Never Got Paid)

It's Downright Shocking To Me That Joe Davis Started His Broadcasting Career With The Scha...

20
Breaking Down Everything You Need To Know About The Fernando Tatis Jr. Suspension

Breaking Down Everything You Need To Know About The Fernando Tatis Jr. Suspension

21
ATTENTION Yankees Fans: Stop Whining

ATTENTION Yankees Fans: Stop Whining

22
Hot Soup: NOBODY In MLB Is More Underrated Than Zac Gallen

Hot Soup: NOBODY In MLB Is More Underrated Than Zac Gallen

23
I Would Rather Get Speared To Death By Goldberg Than Play The Mets In A 7 Game Series

I Would Rather Get Speared To Death By Goldberg Than Play The Mets In A 7 Game Series

24
Eric Hosmer Would Have To Be A Certified MORON To Veto The Juan Soto Trade

Eric Hosmer Would Have To Be A Certified MORON To Veto The Juan Soto Trade

25
Scott Boras Came On Starting 9 Today And Destroyed The State Of Baseball

Scott Boras Came On Starting 9 Today And Destroyed The State Of Baseball