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Top Three People I Should Be Mad At For Leaving My Apartment A Mess After Filming An Episode Of  "Tank Cooks"

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Everybody is Awful (Except You)

New York

Awful matching Disney t-shirts for the whole family

Barstool Sports presents Jim Florentine as the host of the Everybody is Awful (Except You) podcast. Jim has recorded six stand-up comedy albums and shot four full-length specials. On television Jim hosted 7 seasons of VH1 Classic's "That Metal Show" as well as lending his voice to the ground breaking "Crank Yankers". On radio Jim has been a regular on The Howard Stern show, the Opie & Anthony show and currently hosts his own program on Sirius. In addition Jim is a best selling author, world-renowned voice over talent, and has been featured in the film's "Beer League" with Artie Lange and "Trainwreck" with Amy Schumer. Subscribe now.

Everybody is Awful (Except You) with Jim Florentine

Awful T-Shirts May 4, 2020

<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1,user-scalable=no,shrink-to-fit=no"><title>Cats Make Me Happy, Humans Make My Head Hurt</title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.css"><script async src="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js"></script><script>window.htlbid=window.htlbid||{},htlbid.cmd=htlbid.cmd||[],htlbid.cmd.push((function(){htlbid.setTargeting("pagetype","blog"),htlbid.setTargeting("brandId","101"),htlbid.setTargeting("authorId","63521"),htlbid.setTargeting("tags",["podcast","t shirts","Awful","Cats","4","humans","may","jim florentine ","everybody"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_keywords",["movie","broadway play","visit","part","witch","ariana grande","oz","great acting","real movie guy","good storyline","opening night","jeff d. lowe","hour","great voice","singing"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv1",["IAB1-6","IAB1-7","IAB1-5"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv2",["324","156","641","349","351"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv3",["324","JLBCU7","156","641","349","351"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_positive","0.21"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_neutral","0.76"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_negative","0.03"),htlbid.setTargeting("is_testing","no"),htlbid.layout()}))</script><script>var googletag = googletag || {};
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        pbjs.setConfig({ pageUrl: https://www.barstoolsports.com/video-podcast/2390574/cats-make-me-happy-humans-make-my-head-hurt });</script><script src="https://d9rde3y35j061.cloudfront.net/script.js"></script><script src="https://htlbid.com/v3/barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js" async></script><script src="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/embed.js" async></script><style>.union__content{font-family:-apple-system,HelveticaNeue,Roboto,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:18px;color:#5a5b5d;word-wrap:break-word;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0 5px 32px 5px}.union__content p{padding:0;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content img{display:block;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content video{display:block!important;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content .articleAd{text-align:center;margin:16px 0 0 0;background-color:#f5f5f5}.union__content .htlad__container{display:inline-block}.union__content p a{color:#377dc4}.union__content .oembed__wrapper{margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){display:block;margin:16px 0 0 0;padding:4px 12px;border-left:4px solid #77889a;font-style:italic;background:#f0f4f8;text-align:left;border-radius:0 6px 6px 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video) p{font-style:italic}.union__content blockquote,q{quotes:none}.union__content iframe{max-width:100%}.union__content .bs-image-hidden{display:none}.union__content div.hq-image{width:fit-content;margin:0 auto}.union__content span.image-attribution,.union__content span.image-attribution a{color:#757575;font-size:12px;font-style:italic;letter-spacing:.1px;line-height:14px;text-decoration:none;padding:0;margin:0}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer .bs-videoPlayer__container,.union__content video-js,.wp-video{width:100%!important;height:0!important;position:relative;padding-bottom:56.25%;overflow:hidden;margin:16px 0 0 0}.wp-video video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.hq-image video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer__container>iframe{position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border:none}@media (prefers-color-scheme:dark){.union__content,body,html{background:#1c1c1c;color:#f1f1f1}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){border-left:4px solid #367dc4;background:#272c35}}</style><script>window.addEventListener("applicationDidBecomeActive",(()=>{document.querySelectorAll(".hq-image video[autoplay]").forEach((e=>e.play()))}))</script></head><body class="union__content"><p>“Honey, I was gonna get us matching T-Shirts. - I’m glad you didn’t” <strong>(1:02)</strong></p><p>“I want buns of steel, but I also want buns of cinnamon” <strong>(6:36)</strong></p><p>“She’s my sweet potato” - “Yes I Yam” <strong>(11:09)</strong></p><p>“Dumbbells, dead-lifts, and diapers” <strong>(14:06) </strong></p><p>“Holy Shit” <strong>(16:54)</strong></p><p>“I’d love to be a Pinterest mom, turns out I’m more of an Amazon Prime mom.” <strong>(19:35)</strong></p><p>“I cross my fingers and hope my ass fits in my jeans”<strong> (24:42)</strong></p><p><strong>“Cats make me happy. Humans make my head hurt.”</strong> <strong>(28:30)</strong></p><p>“Drinkin’ Like Lincoln” <strong>(34:44)</strong></p><p>“Red, White, and Booze”<strong> (36:12)</strong></p><p>“Ben Drankin” <strong>(37:59)</strong></p><p><strong>Hoodies & T-Shirts</strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/rMizGpK" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-hoodie?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63521_101_cats-make-me-happy-humans-make-my-head-hurt&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63521_101_cats-make-me-happy-humans-make-my-head-hurt"></a></div></div></div><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/aaiQTOG" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-tee?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63521_101_cats-make-me-happy-humans-make-my-head-hurt&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63521_101_cats-make-me-happy-humans-make-my-head-hurt"></a></div></div><div id="Article-Ad-Placeholder" data-union-ad></div></div><p><strong>Download & Listen </strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/aIvbmr8" href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everybody-is-awful-except-you-with-jim-florentine/id1495087840"></a></div></div></div></body></html>

<p>“Honey, I was gonna get us matching T-Shirts. - I’m glad you didn’t” <strong>(1:02)</strong></p><p>“I want buns of steel, but I also want buns of cinnamon” <strong>(6:36)</strong></p><p>“She’s my sweet potato” - “Yes I Yam” <strong>(11:09)</strong></p><p>“Dumbbells, dead-lifts, and diapers” <strong>(14:06) </strong></p><p>“Holy Shit” <strong>(16:54)</strong></p><p>“I’d love to be a Pinterest mom, turns out I’m more of an Amazon Prime mom.” <strong>(19:35)</strong></p><p>“I cross my fingers and hope my ass fits in my jeans”<strong> (24:42)</strong></p><p><strong>“Cats make me happy. Humans make my head hurt.”</strong> <strong>(28:30)</strong></p><p>“Drinkin’ Like Lincoln” <strong>(34:44)</strong></p><p>“Red, White, and Booze”<strong> (36:12)</strong></p><p>“Ben Drankin” <strong>(37:59)</strong></p><p><strong>Hoodies & T-Shirts</strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/rMizGpK" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-hoodie?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63521_101_cats-make-me-happy-humans-make-my-head-hurt&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63521_101_cats-make-me-happy-humans-make-my-head-hurt"></a></div></div></div><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/aaiQTOG" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-tee?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63521_101_cats-make-me-happy-humans-make-my-head-hurt&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63521_101_cats-make-me-happy-humans-make-my-head-hurt"></a></div></div><div id="Article-Ad-Placeholder" data-union-ad></div></div><p><strong>Download & Listen </strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/aIvbmr8" href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everybody-is-awful-except-you-with-jim-florentine/id1495087840"></a></div></div></div>

Cats Make Me Happy, Humans Make My Head Hurt

An Actual Adult Posted This On Facebook And It's Absolutely Stupid

Your 8-year-old didn't say this

This Deserves A Lot More Silence Than It Got

Be Prepared For An Avalanche of "I Got Vaccinated" Posts

Man attacks his online critic ...this is some Florida shit