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Everybody is Awful (Except You)

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<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1,user-scalable=no,shrink-to-fit=no"><title>Your Baby Never Said Any Of This</title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://htlbid.com/v3/app.barstoolsports.com/htlbid.css"><script async src="https://htlbid.com/v3/app.barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js"></script><script>window.htlbid=window.htlbid||{},htlbid.cmd=htlbid.cmd||[],htlbid.cmd.push((function(){htlbid.setTargeting("pagetype","blog"),htlbid.setTargeting("brandId","101"),htlbid.setTargeting("authorId","63544"),htlbid.setTargeting("tags",["facebook","podcast","baby","Awful","riots","Lies","posts","Is","jim florentine ","everybody"]),htlbid.setTargeting("is_testing","no"),htlbid.layout()}))</script><script>var googletag = googletag || {};
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        pbjs.setConfig({ pageUrl: https://www.barstoolsports.com/video/2829006/your-baby-never-said-any-of-this });</script><script src="https://d9rde3y35j061.cloudfront.net/script.js"></script><script src="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/embed.js" async></script><style>.union__content{font-family:-apple-system,HelveticaNeue,Roboto,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:18px;color:#5a5b5d;word-wrap:break-word;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0 5px 32px 5px}.union__content p{padding:0;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content img{display:block;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content video{display:block!important;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content .articleAd{text-align:center;margin:16px 0 0 0;background-color:#f5f5f5}.union__content .htlad__container{display:inline-block}.union__content p a{color:#377dc4}.union__content .oembed__wrapper{margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){display:block;margin:16px 0 0 0;padding:4px 12px;border-left:4px solid #77889a;font-style:italic;background:#f0f4f8;text-align:left;border-radius:0 6px 6px 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video) p{font-style:italic}.union__content blockquote,q{quotes:none}.union__content iframe{max-width:100%}.union__content .bs-image-hidden{display:none}.union__content div.hq-image{width:fit-content;margin:0 auto}.union__content span.image-attribution,.union__content span.image-attribution a{color:#757575;font-size:12px;font-style:italic;letter-spacing:.1px;line-height:14px;text-decoration:none;padding:0;margin:0}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer .bs-videoPlayer__container,.union__content video-js,.wp-video{width:100%!important;height:0!important;position:relative;padding-bottom:56.25%;overflow:hidden;margin:16px 0 0 0}.wp-video video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.hq-image video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer__container>iframe{position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border:none}@media (prefers-color-scheme:dark){.union__content,body,html{background:#1c1c1c;color:#f1f1f1}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){border-left:4px solid #367dc4;background:#272c35}}</style><script>window.addEventListener("applicationDidBecomeActive",(()=>{document.querySelectorAll(".hq-image video[autoplay]").forEach((e=>e.play()))}))</script></head><body class="union__content"><p><strong>Everybody Is Awful: Facebook Posts with Jim Florentine</strong></p><p>KFC suspends “Finger Lickin’ Good” slogan because of Coronavirus. <strong>(2:52)</strong></p><p>Probably the worst thing I’ve ever read in my life. I would rather read a ransom note if my son was kidnapped. <strong>(10:04)</strong></p><p>“Attention Dr. Pepper drinkers, I was just told there was going to be a shortage.” <strong>(17:42)</strong></p><p>I had a fight with super glue …now I can’t use touch-id. Also, my lawn mower didn’t start. <strong>(24:48)</strong></p><p>A total lie of a story: “Why are they rioting mommy?” <strong>(29:22)</strong></p><p>“Just read a report that says broccoli is really good for joints.” - You get it?<strong> (32:34)</strong></p><p>“I’m a mom, my life is so crazy, but my kids love me.” - that kinda post. <strong>(36:14)</strong></p><p><strong>Download</strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/aIvbmr8" href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everybody-is-awful-except-you-with-jim-florentine/id1495087840?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this"></a></div></div></div><p><strong>NEW T-Shirts by Jim Florentine</strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/iExUQSt" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/yuck-tee?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this"></a></div></div><div id="Article-Ad-Placeholder" data-union-ad></div></div><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/NZHypme" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/you-got-this-tee?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this"></a></div></div></div><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/H91gTig" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-hoodie?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this"></a></div></div></div><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/L9goqGi" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-tee?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this"></a></div></div></div></body></html>

<p><strong>Everybody Is Awful: Facebook Posts with Jim Florentine</strong></p><p>KFC suspends “Finger Lickin’ Good” slogan because of Coronavirus. <strong>(2:52)</strong></p><p>Probably the worst thing I’ve ever read in my life. I would rather read a ransom note if my son was kidnapped. <strong>(10:04)</strong></p><p>“Attention Dr. Pepper drinkers, I was just told there was going to be a shortage.” <strong>(17:42)</strong></p><p>I had a fight with super glue …now I can’t use touch-id. Also, my lawn mower didn’t start. <strong>(24:48)</strong></p><p>A total lie of a story: “Why are they rioting mommy?” <strong>(29:22)</strong></p><p>“Just read a report that says broccoli is really good for joints.” - You get it?<strong> (32:34)</strong></p><p>“I’m a mom, my life is so crazy, but my kids love me.” - that kinda post. <strong>(36:14)</strong></p><p><strong>Download</strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/aIvbmr8" href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everybody-is-awful-except-you-with-jim-florentine/id1495087840?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this"></a></div></div></div><p><strong>NEW T-Shirts by Jim Florentine</strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/iExUQSt" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/yuck-tee?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this"></a></div></div><div id="Article-Ad-Placeholder" data-union-ad></div></div><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/NZHypme" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/you-got-this-tee?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this"></a></div></div></div><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/H91gTig" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-hoodie?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this"></a></div></div></div><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/L9goqGi" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-tee?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_your-baby-never-said-any-of-this"></a></div></div></div>

Your Baby Never Said Any Of This

An Actual Adult Posted This On Facebook And It's Absolutely Stupid

Your 8-year-old didn't say this

This Deserves A Lot More Silence Than It Got

Be Prepared For An Avalanche of "I Got Vaccinated" Posts

Man attacks his online critic ...this is some Florida shit

Barstool Sports presents Jim Florentine as the host of the Everybody is Awful (Except You) podcast. Jim has recorded six stand-up comedy albums and shot four full-length specials. On television Jim hosted 7 seasons of VH1 Classic's "That Metal Show" as well as lending his voice to the ground breaking "Crank Yankers". On radio Jim has been a regular on The Howard Stern show, the Opie & Anthony show and currently hosts his own program on Sirius. In addition Jim is a best selling author, world-renowned voice over talent, and has been featured in the film's "Beer League" with Artie Lange and "Trainwreck" with Amy Schumer. Subscribe now.