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Everybody is Awful (Except You)

New York

A lady takes off her underwear in a post office and uses it as a mask. A man fucks a horse and doesn't pull out. Another man is asked to leave a threesome, and then wants back in.

Barstool Sports presents Jim Florentine as the host of the Everybody is Awful (Except You) podcast. Jim has recorded six stand-up comedy albums and shot four full-length specials. On television Jim hosted 7 seasons of VH1 Classic's "That Metal Show" as well as lending his voice to the ground breaking "Crank Yankers". On radio Jim has been a regular on The Howard Stern show, the Opie & Anthony show and currently hosts his own program on Sirius. In addition Jim is a best selling author, world-renowned voice over talent, and has been featured in the film's "Beer League" with Artie Lange and "Trainwreck" with Amy Schumer. Subscribe now.

Everybody is Awful (Except You) with Jim Florentine

You Can Use Your Underwear As A Mask

<!DOCTYPE html><html lang="en"><head><meta charset="utf-8"><meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width,initial-scale=1,maximum-scale=1,user-scalable=no,shrink-to-fit=no"><title>The Michael Jordan of Threesomes</title><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="https://htlbid.com/v3/app.barstoolsports.com/htlbid.css"><script async src="https://htlbid.com/v3/app.barstoolsports.com/htlbid.js"></script><script>window.htlbid=window.htlbid||{},htlbid.cmd=htlbid.cmd||[],htlbid.cmd.push((function(){htlbid.setTargeting("pagetype","blog"),htlbid.setTargeting("brandId","101"),htlbid.setTargeting("authorId","63544"),htlbid.setTargeting("tags",["jordan","Awful","michael","jim florentine ","everybody","sergeant"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_keywords",["team","field","night","guy","way","first play","1st","melodic word","pass","time","will campbell","fauxball game","defender","touchdown","wade boggs"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv1",["IAB17","IAB17-12"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv2",["484","483"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_IABv3",["484","483"]),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_positive","0.267"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_neutral","0.541"),htlbid.setTargeting("Verity_negative","0.192"),htlbid.setTargeting("is_testing","no"),htlbid.layout()}))</script><script>var googletag = googletag || {};
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        pbjs.setConfig({ pageUrl: https://www.barstoolsports.com/video-podcast/2559642/the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes });</script><script src="https://d9rde3y35j061.cloudfront.net/script.js"></script><script src="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/embed.js" async></script><style>.union__content{font-family:-apple-system,HelveticaNeue,Roboto,sans-serif;font-weight:400;font-size:18px;color:#5a5b5d;word-wrap:break-word;box-sizing:border-box;padding:0 5px 32px 5px}.union__content p{padding:0;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content img{display:block;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content video{display:block!important;width:100%!important;height:auto;margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content .articleAd{text-align:center;margin:16px 0 0 0;background-color:#f5f5f5}.union__content .htlad__container{display:inline-block}.union__content p a{color:#377dc4}.union__content .oembed__wrapper{margin:16px 0 0 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){display:block;margin:16px 0 0 0;padding:4px 12px;border-left:4px solid #77889a;font-style:italic;background:#f0f4f8;text-align:left;border-radius:0 6px 6px 0}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video) p{font-style:italic}.union__content blockquote,q{quotes:none}.union__content iframe{max-width:100%}.union__content .bs-image-hidden{display:none}.union__content div.hq-image{width:fit-content;margin:0 auto}.union__content span.image-attribution,.union__content span.image-attribution a{color:#757575;font-size:12px;font-style:italic;letter-spacing:.1px;line-height:14px;text-decoration:none;padding:0;margin:0}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer .bs-videoPlayer__container,.union__content video-js,.wp-video{width:100%!important;height:0!important;position:relative;padding-bottom:56.25%;overflow:hidden;margin:16px 0 0 0}.wp-video video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.hq-image video{width:100%!important;height:100%!important}.union__content .bs-videoPlayer__container>iframe{position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;border:none}@media (prefers-color-scheme:dark){.union__content,body,html{background:#1c1c1c;color:#f1f1f1}.union__content blockquote:not(.twitter-video){border-left:4px solid #367dc4;background:#272c35}}</style><script>window.addEventListener("applicationDidBecomeActive",(()=>{document.querySelectorAll(".hq-image video[autoplay]").forEach((e=>e.play()))}))</script></head><body class="union__content"><p>Dude, this quarantine hasn’t been good to you <strong>(2:30)</strong></p><p>Woman caught masturbating in Chinese IKEA store. Serious crime in China, security on high alert. <strong>(5:20)</strong></p><p>A man gets kicked out of a threesome, only to want back in. Relentless. The Michael Jordan of Threesomes. <strong>(14:17)</strong></p><div class="hq-image"><video autoplay loop muted playsinline alt="Stop It Michael Jordan GIF" title="Stop It Michael Jordan GIF"><source src="https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/giphy/2020/06/12/9281daee.gif?format=mp4&profile=high&level=5.0" type="video/mp4"><source src="https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/giphy/2020/06/12/9281daee.gif?format=jpg" type="image/jpeg"></video><span class="image-attribution">Giphy Images.</span></div><p></p><p>Sergeant in the Army gets stabbed by his wife for not cleaning the couch. <strong>(22:48)</strong></p><p>Ukrainian woman uses her underwear as a face-mask after being refused service at a Post Office. <strong>(26:17)</strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/KKV9A7q?_showcaption=true" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJY1HefqUGQ&utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes"></a></div></div><div id="Article-Ad-Placeholder" data-union-ad></div></div><p>I'm not sure what the big deal is, did she not follow directions properly?</p><p></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/bRsqDFB?_showcaption=true" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqgIS1dhZ2A&utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes"></a></div></div></div><p></p><p>Serial pony rapist caught with his pants down in a Delaware police sting <strong>(32:00)</strong></p><p>Teacher brings in cupcakes and serves them to her students. THEY WERE FILLED WITH HER HUSBAND'S SEMEN <strong>(38:18)</strong></p><p>A New York City woman stabbed her roommate during quarantine because she was drinking too much. <strong>(41:00)</strong></p><p><strong>Hoodies & T-Shirts</strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/qIn6Syi" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-hoodie?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes"></a></div></div></div><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/gRHolyk" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-tee?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes"></a></div></div></div><p><strong>Download The Podcast </strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/aIvbmr8" href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everybody-is-awful-except-you-with-jim-florentine/id1495087840?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes"></a></div></div></div><p></p></body></html>

<p>Dude, this quarantine hasn’t been good to you <strong>(2:30)</strong></p><p>Woman caught masturbating in Chinese IKEA store. Serious crime in China, security on high alert. <strong>(5:20)</strong></p><p>A man gets kicked out of a threesome, only to want back in. Relentless. The Michael Jordan of Threesomes. <strong>(14:17)</strong></p><div class="hq-image"><video autoplay loop muted playsinline alt="Stop It Michael Jordan GIF" title="Stop It Michael Jordan GIF"><source src="https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/giphy/2020/06/12/9281daee.gif?format=mp4&profile=high&level=5.0" type="video/mp4"><source src="https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/giphy/2020/06/12/9281daee.gif?format=jpg" type="image/jpeg"></video><span class="image-attribution">Giphy Images.</span></div><p></p><p>Sergeant in the Army gets stabbed by his wife for not cleaning the couch. <strong>(22:48)</strong></p><p>Ukrainian woman uses her underwear as a face-mask after being refused service at a Post Office. <strong>(26:17)</strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/KKV9A7q?_showcaption=true" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJY1HefqUGQ&utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes"></a></div></div><div id="Article-Ad-Placeholder" data-union-ad></div></div><p>I'm not sure what the big deal is, did she not follow directions properly?</p><p></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/bRsqDFB?_showcaption=true" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqgIS1dhZ2A&utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes"></a></div></div></div><p></p><p>Serial pony rapist caught with his pants down in a Delaware police sting <strong>(32:00)</strong></p><p>Teacher brings in cupcakes and serves them to her students. THEY WERE FILLED WITH HER HUSBAND'S SEMEN <strong>(38:18)</strong></p><p>A New York City woman stabbed her roommate during quarantine because she was drinking too much. <strong>(41:00)</strong></p><p><strong>Hoodies & T-Shirts</strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/qIn6Syi" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-hoodie?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes"></a></div></div></div><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/gRHolyk" href="https://store.barstoolsports.com/products/everybody-is-awful-except-you-logo-tee?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes"></a></div></div></div><p><strong>Download The Podcast </strong></p><div class="oembed__wrapper"><div class="iframely-embed" style="max-width:550px"><div class="iframely-responsive" style="padding-bottom:100%"><a data-iframely-url="https://iframely.barstoolsports.com/aIvbmr8" href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everybody-is-awful-except-you-with-jim-florentine/id1495087840?utm_source=barstoolsports&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=blog&utm_term=63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes&utm_campaign=barstoolsports_referral_blog_63544_101_the-michael-jordan-of-threesomes"></a></div></div></div><p></p>

The Michael Jordan of Threesomes

An Actual Adult Posted This On Facebook And It's Absolutely Stupid

Your 8-year-old didn't say this

This Deserves A Lot More Silence Than It Got

Be Prepared For An Avalanche of "I Got Vaccinated" Posts

Man attacks his online critic ...this is some Florida shit