Longtime Toolies: Moving A Pallet Of Cinder Blocks Made Me Wanna Die

Let's go ahead an take care of the elephant in the room and I'm not talkin about your mother in law, folks. I look fucking good in a cowboy hat. For years, I've wanted to become a cowboy hat guy. I've lived in Texas for 10 years now so I rate, regardless of whether I have cattle or not.

....Extremely Barack Obama Voice.....

If you say that I am all hat and no cattle, I will block you. Simple as that. The gaunlet has been thrown down. The rules are in place.

Brighter notes, it's so fucking hot, baby girls. This summer proves once and for all that summer is the worst season. The only thing that even comes close is a season of loneliness which you wont experience if you are doing DIY projects and talking to Dale in the Paint Section of your local home improvement store.

Follow the Longtime Stoolie Accounts, turds.