In Honor Of Tonight's Mike Tyson Fight, Here Are The Definitive Power Rankings Of Punch Out Characters
"It Means Absolutely Nothing...I'mma Die...Who The Fuck Cares About Me When I'm Gone?" - Mike Tyson, Who Completely Sold Me On His Fight Against Jake Paul By Perfectly Answering A Kid's Question About Legacy
The Saints Firing Dennis Allen Was A No-Brainer, Yet Somehow Makes Even More Sense After Seeing Just How Statistically Bad Their Loss To The Panthers Was (BONUS: A Bunch Of Derek Carr Slander Stats)
Google Was Fined $2,565,635,200,000,003,000,000,000,000,000,000 By Russia For Blocking Their YouTube Channels
The Giants Followed Up Their First Touchdown In 24 Drives With One Of The Worst Two Point Conversion Attempts You Will Ever See
A Sewage Pipe In Moscow Apparently Exploded And Caused A Giant Geyser Of Shit To Rain Down From Hundreds Of Feet In The Air
A Texas High School Football Game Ended With A Game-Winning 99 Yard Fumble Return Touchdown As Time Expired In One Of The Most Preposterous Finishes You Will Ever See
Whoopsie Daisy! A Corpse Went Flying Out Of The Back Of A Funeral Home's Hearse And Landed In The Middle Of A Busy City Street
"Everything Is Just Bad About That Stadium" - Mekhi Becton Let It Be Known Just How Shitty MetLife Stadium Is
The Mets Once Again Got Their Dicks Kicked In During Game 4 And Their Magical Season Officially Hangs In The Balance
